In Sheep’s Clothing — Book Review
Here’s what I have learned from In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People by Dr. George Simon.
1 & 25 people are sociopaths or 4% of our population.
Most sociopaths are within the walls of our workplace than the walls our criminal institutions.
Why? Covert-aggressors hide their tracks and prey on those with a conscious. Sociopaths, unfortunately, do not possess a conscious and will most likely live a life “winning.”
I recently walked away from another sales job due to covert-aggressive nature of the business. I didn’t know how to handle it and it led me to this book.
I started to learn how to take back my life and building a healthy fence within my life.
It’s a new operation for me because I, unfortunately, have believed people aren’t that bad out there and to give them a chance. It’s not the case and I’m learning to guard myself from others to take advantage of me.
One of the reason why I despise the philosophy of being a chameleon, shape-shifter, or acting in a job or in life is because it’s the idea taking advantage of them.
I hate it so much because I allow to be taken advantage by people for the sake of harmony.
Life is so complex and grey that it’s leading me to question a lot of what I grew up with. .
I don’t like myself or others people being taken advantage, so hopefully this helps anyone feeling taking advantage in their lives.
Let’s go ahead and map the covert-aggressive person.
Criteria for a Passive Aggressive person:
- Pushing to have their way
- Won’t take no for an answer
- Always wants to win
- Ready to push buttons and instigate
Criteria for a Covert-Aggressive person:
- Rarely gives you a straight answer to a straight question
- Operates in the grey and omits often
- Always makes excuses for hurtful things
- Try to make you feel guilty and places people in a shame cycle
If you find you’re in the snares of a predator person, here is a new blue print to adopt.
Be:
- Disciplined
- Affirmative and take action
- Principled
- Take responsibility
- Able to speak for yourself, use I statements often
- Able to speak of what you want and openly
- Set own personal limits, flesh out your boundaries
Understand:
- When do you fight and when you do not fight
- Your personal success and dignity
- Everyone is the same, right? Wrong, even more wrong within a church
- Sociopaths are in those places and you shouldn’t drop your guard
- Someone is trying to get what they want
DO NOT:
- Accept their excuse
- Don’t tolerate the behavior in question.
- Make threats or try to out-win them
- If you deceive yourself, you spiral out of control and you become confuse.
WARNING SIRENS of a social predator:
- Guilt trip
- Shaming
- Victim Role, the aggressor places themselves as a temporary victim
If you see a tactic, call it out and establish your perimeter. If a home has a fence to protect from outside dangers, so should your life.
Avoid one-down and establish balance of power.
Get into a practice of a good win-win scenario.
Know your resolve will be tested and your buttons will be pressed.
Don’t be swayed by tactics and remind yourself they’re taking advantage of you.
Coming from a variety of different chaotic environments, I can safely say both realms are almost the same.
Right now, I’m tired of the games and finally learning how to understand sociopaths and passive-aggressive people.
Question to chew on:
How do we improve our communities’ morales, spiritualness, and conscientiousness?