In Sheep’s Clothing — Book Review

Barnaby Alkire
3 min readAug 13, 2018

Here’s what I have learned from In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People by Dr. George Simon.

1 & 25 people are sociopaths or 4% of our population.

Most sociopaths are within the walls of our workplace than the walls our criminal institutions.

Why? Covert-aggressors hide their tracks and prey on those with a conscious. Sociopaths, unfortunately, do not possess a conscious and will most likely live a life “winning.”

I recently walked away from another sales job due to covert-aggressive nature of the business. I didn’t know how to handle it and it led me to this book.

I started to learn how to take back my life and building a healthy fence within my life.

It’s a new operation for me because I, unfortunately, have believed people aren’t that bad out there and to give them a chance. It’s not the case and I’m learning to guard myself from others to take advantage of me.

One of the reason why I despise the philosophy of being a chameleon, shape-shifter, or acting in a job or in life is because it’s the idea taking advantage of them.

I hate it so much because I allow to be taken advantage by people for the sake of harmony.

Life is so complex and grey that it’s leading me to question a lot of what I grew up with. .

I don’t like myself or others people being taken advantage, so hopefully this helps anyone feeling taking advantage in their lives.

Let’s go ahead and map the covert-aggressive person.

Criteria for a Passive Aggressive person:

  • Pushing to have their way
  • Won’t take no for an answer
  • Always wants to win
  • Ready to push buttons and instigate

Criteria for a Covert-Aggressive person:

  • Rarely gives you a straight answer to a straight question
  • Operates in the grey and omits often
  • Always makes excuses for hurtful things
  • Try to make you feel guilty and places people in a shame cycle

If you find you’re in the snares of a predator person, here is a new blue print to adopt.

Be:

  • Disciplined
  • Affirmative and take action
  • Principled
  • Take responsibility
  • Able to speak for yourself, use I statements often
  • Able to speak of what you want and openly
  • Set own personal limits, flesh out your boundaries

Understand:

  • When do you fight and when you do not fight
  • Your personal success and dignity
  • Everyone is the same, right? Wrong, even more wrong within a church
  • Sociopaths are in those places and you shouldn’t drop your guard
  • Someone is trying to get what they want

DO NOT:

  • Accept their excuse
  • Don’t tolerate the behavior in question.
  • Make threats or try to out-win them
  • If you deceive yourself, you spiral out of control and you become confuse.

WARNING SIRENS of a social predator:

  • Guilt trip
  • Shaming
  • Victim Role, the aggressor places themselves as a temporary victim

If you see a tactic, call it out and establish your perimeter. If a home has a fence to protect from outside dangers, so should your life.

Avoid one-down and establish balance of power.

Get into a practice of a good win-win scenario.

Know your resolve will be tested and your buttons will be pressed.

Don’t be swayed by tactics and remind yourself they’re taking advantage of you.

Coming from a variety of different chaotic environments, I can safely say both realms are almost the same.

Right now, I’m tired of the games and finally learning how to understand sociopaths and passive-aggressive people.

Question to chew on:

How do we improve our communities’ morales, spiritualness, and conscientiousness?

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